It came to me in a sentence.

This is the year where I've stopped talking, stopping wishing and started doing.

I've started exercising, eating healthily.

I have my goals and I will make them! 

"Nothing is impossible." And however many times my little brother has tried to contest it, I always rebut him. Just because it's not possible now doesn't mean it won't be possible in the future.

I've all this energy and drive that comes from the start of a year, freshly laundered self post-holiday, a change of environment, a change of lifestyle, moving out, being on my own, learning life skills and in the bottom of my heart, a cellar of full bottled love and well-wishes from family and friends. The last beings the most important factor for this explosional drive.

Beloved.

It can be taken in two ways - one that applauds the person bearing the name, or - in a different light - applauding those without whom the person bearing the name would cease to be. 

So in other terms, I had at one point in time thought my self to be not worthy of the name, 'Amy', which means 'beloved'. I had also secretly loved the meaning of my name because I felt the love of all those who loved me. And now, lastly, only feeling silent gratitude for my family who love me unconditionally. For without them and their love, I would not be.

Following up from that brief NTS.

It's easy to forget how loved you are when all your extended family live thousands of miles away.

But it is also simply remembered.

And maybe forgetting is part of it, so that when you are reminded, you can be filled with such warmth.

Maybe being apart helps you to grow in that way.

For all the better and worse, this clearly remains: the sweetness absence brings is worth every single tear in the end.